Jane
by CBWolfie
Summary: just a short story about evolving, confusing emotions


They've come to the end of another case. They were going to go to the Dirty Robber and celebrate with the rest of the team, but Jane just wasn't feeling it. Something inside her was off, she wasn't sick, no nausea, no fever, no headache, she just felt...she wasn't sure what she felt. So she begged off, mumbled something to Frankie, and let her mind and her feet take her elsewhere.

And no, she didn't want to go running, didn't feel like going back to her place, changing clothes, putting on her running shoes, blah, blah, blah...she just let her feet walk her where they needed to take her.

The brick sidewalks were covered with the golden leaves of fall in Boston and the air was cool and crisp and she took no notice of it. There could have been three feet of snow on the ground like this past winter and she couldn't have cared less, her heart and her mind were at war.

What were these feelings? She'd not felt this unsettled in months. She'd grieved the loss of the baby, that had been monumentally painfull and she was just starting to feel like she might be coming through the other side towards healing from that. Casey, what to do about Casey, where was he at with thier relationship, where was she at with it. That was an old merry-go-round that she'd ridden before, she was quite familiar with those feelings, and she didn't think that was what was bothering her tonight.

And wouldn't you know it, her brain and her feet had taken her right to Maura's place. Waundering around all that time, not paying any attention to where she was going and this is where she ends up. And the lights are on and she can see Maura moving around through the open blinds. Why does her body relax just watching Maura? Why does the stress completely leave her brain? Does the detective in her brain notice these taletell changes in her behavior? Possibly, but she's not going to puzzle it out right this minute, she's going to go into Maura's house and spend the rest of the evening there. And she's going to relax and enjoy herself, for a little while.

Maura made them something for dinner that Jane could not pronounce and she wasn't quite sure what all was in it, like she loves to do, and Jane decided not to fight her about it tonight. Normally she would, and there would be a long discussion and they would come to a compromise, but Jane just didn't care tonight. She could have, but she chose not to. It had been a long case and she was physically and mentally exhausted, so she just went with it. She ate some of it, there was chicken in there, she thought, and she just picked at the rest of it for a bit before giving up entirely and taking her wine glass and the bottle to the couch.

There was a cheery fire crackling and popping in the fireplace, taking the chill out of the air softly breezing in through the open windows. Maura came and perched on the couch beside Jane and refilled both their glasses before drinking from hers. Maura had been steadily chatting away this whole time about the case, and Jane had barely noticed. It was not that she was ignoring her, it was just that her mind was on other things. Like how wonderfully that dress she had on fit her. Jane knew it was by some famous designer and had probably cost a small fortune so it should fit well, but it was really beautiful on her. Why was she noticing these things? "Jane," she said, "Are you allright?" Jane grunted something non-commital and went back to her wine and staring into the fire.

Maura kicked off her pumps, put her feet up on Jane's lap with a smirk and picked up her I-pad. It was obviously going to be one of those nights when she got little to no conversation out of her, so she started reading that article on new gastro-enteric dissection techniques she'd been meaning to get to.

Mindlessly rubbing Maura's feet, Jane's brain started whirring again. The way the light from the fire reflected in her hair, the dress hugging the swell of her breasts, accentuating her cleavage, that side seam running down the length of her tone body to the delicious swell of her hips with the hem stopping a scandilous distance about her knees. Her hands were occupied with a wine glass and foot rubbing, but did they want to be slowly sliding up that side seam in search of a zipper? And why? "What? Did I get something on my dress?" Maura had caught her staring and she had to throw her hand up and mumble something like "nothing, nothing."

It wasn't long and the I-pad slid slowly out of Maura's hand to rest on her sleeping chest. She had set her wine glass down a while ago, thank goodness, no need to clean up spilled wine on the carpet. And Jane was awake and the wine bottle was empty. Slowly, gently, Jane ran her fingers through Maura's long, soft hair. Her heart beat a bit faster and her breathing quickened. What was she doing? Why was she leaning over closer to her? She wanted to kiss her and was terrified of that feeling. And as her hand came to rest on her cheek, Maura snuggled into her caress and made a little cooing sound. Jane smiled all the way to her eyes and she closed that last little distance and kissed her, softly and tenderly so as not to wake her. And did it feel like Maura was kissing her back? Jane broke the kiss and sat back quietly, waiting to see what she did next. Maura rolled over to face the fire, her face glowing in it's light and continued to sleep. Jane decided it was time to go.

She got up and threw a blanket over her and let herself out, locking the door behind her. She needed to walk some more, puzzle this all out.


End file.
